Title: Backstage at the Ballet
Author: JustHuman
Rating: PG-15
Pairing: Wesley/Gunn/Fred
Improv: Improv #42 "You're Doing It All Wrong!" (This improv is about fixing a plot gone wrong.)
Spoiler: Up to "Waiting in the Wings"
Disclaimer: As implausible as my conclusion to the original plot may may, Joss himself penned the line about "Who's laughing now?" In the end, he and several corporations own it all. I own nothing worth taking.
Author's Notes: 020520 - Thanks to MeriBeth for conversing about W/G/F. I promise; her plot will be better. Special thanks to http://www.studiesinwords.de/ for the shooting script. Post to list archives. Everyone else just let me know. In Martha's words, "Feedback. It's a good thing." - Justhuman111@hotmail.com

It must have been the night in Caritas. Dodging bullets, hiding under tables, holding her shaking body close to mine. Oh, that did feel good. Of course, quaking in terror was not the way one wanted a girl to approach you. But if I could be of any service… And the fact that she had been mooning over Angel at the time meant nothing. After all, once she found out about the curse, she stopped paying attention to Angel and…and didn't pay any attention to me whatsoever. The fact that I tried to kill her while possessed by a demon also was probably not helping my case.

But she forgave me. That had to count for something, didn't it? Oh, it just doesn't matter; I can't stop thinking about her. It wasn't the first time I've had these obsessive fantasies, but this time I'm actually going to do something about it. Besides, Cordelia confirmed that the iron was hot. Fred is interested.

OK, this was it the perfect opportunity. No demons, just a social night out among co-workers. They were all dressed up. The ballet, a perfectly civilized endeavor. Beautiful music, beautiful dancing, it's perfect. She is a vision - not like Cordelia's visions - the kind of visions where everyone sighs, contentedly.

Right so lift the hand. Lift the hand. Yes, there it goes. Slowly reach over and there's another hand. Yes, that's another hand in the air. It's sliding against mine. Did she, is she interested in … caressing my fingers too? Except, that hand, the one my thumb is stroking on the palm, it's really much too big to be Fred's isn't it. Quick glance. Oh see, I am a detective. Much to big to be Fred's hand, much too black as well. Gunn's hand. What's Gunn's hand doing in Fred's lap? What's Gunn's hand doing laying feather light touches on my fingertips. Why am I not pulling my fingers away. Why am I getting hard? Oh, that probably has to do with the last set of obsessive fantasies that I didn't act on.

This is sooo tight. Why the hell did I ever think the ballet was going to be boring? God, the grace! Only one thing could make this more perfect. Ohhh, sweet! Man, she was reaching for me too. Hmm, long fingers. Rougher than I thought. That thumb, just the right pressure on my palm. Mmm, mmm, I could just imagine that gliding across the head of my cock. Oh yeah. Break in the dance, quick glance down…at *both* of Fred's hands in her lap and mine all wrapped up in Wesley's. Boy's good with his fingers. Yep, knows how to use his thumb. Wow, got this image of that hand jacking me off. Why, why is it not going away? Why am I not pulling back my hand?

This is sooo, nice. Much nicer now that Cordy isn't snoring in my ear. All dressed up and squeezed between to hot guys in these seats that are just a little bit too small. I bet that most people complain about that. But, I'm not complaining, not me. Cordy said that he was interested. I wonder which one. It's not like I can actually make up my mind. I mean Wesley is so smart and gentle and sweet. Gunn, well he's sweet in his own way and he loves tacos and he makes me laugh. Oh, look, oh my, they're both moving their hands towards me. And gee, their holding each other's hands, right over my lap.

My, they seem to be enjoying that quite a bit. This is a better show than the ballet. It would have been more polite of them to ask me to sit on the end. But, I'm not complaining. I've heard about guys holding hands with each other in West Hollywood, but I never saw anything like this. Oh my, it's warm in here isn't it? Maybe I shouldn't look. Of course, it is going on in my lap, but it would probably be rude to say anything.

Think, that's it, I'll think. I'm good at thinking. Family, friends, co-workers. Wesley, Gunn…naked…at the same time. Oh my! Cordelia, good friend who would happily distract me from thoughts of naked, "Angel!"

Hands fly back to their respective owners.



"And Cordy! They've been gone way too long."

Thankful to be out of the awkwardness, Wesley agreed, " You're right. Come on."

As they shuffled out, Gunn cast a disappointed look at the stage and whined, "But…we're gonna miss the end…"

Taking the unconscious guard at the backstage door as a hint, the trio wandered into the labyrinth of the time trap. Fred walked between Wes and Gunn as they cautiously made their way down the corridor. "This is very not right," commented Gunn.

A low moan penetrated the silence as a shadow moved across them. Fred's eyes grew wider, "Do you hear -" A woman's moan came louder.

Gunn moved closer to Fred intending to put a comforting arm around her. Not noticing Gunn's movement, Wesley did the same as he said, "Someone's in pain." More moaning was heard with a breathy panting.

Fred increased her pace moving away from the two men who found their comforting arms now wrapped around each other's waists. "Either that, or someone's in fun."

Gunn thought, "His eyes are so blue. Why am I staring into his eyes?! There's supposed to be a skinny white girl on my arm right now, not a skinny, tall, good looking, Wesley. Man, look at that shocked look on his face, that mouth just hanging open a little, like he's waiting to be kissed, just begging someone to kiss him. Oh, oh, bad thought!"

Wesley thought, "What the hell! Between the hand holding and this, he's going to kick my ass if we get out of this alive." Reaching with his free hand, Wes wrapped his long fingers around the back of Gunn's neck and pulled him into a kiss. His other hand slid down from Gunn's waist and explored the ass he had been admiring from afar for so long.

Four steps away, Fred suddenly realized that the guys weren't right beside her and she turned around to see Wesley kissing Gunn. Gunn still had one hand around Wes' waist and the other one was gesturing at no one in particular. Finally, that hand just gave up and threaded its way into Wesley's hair. Fred's breath came in a little gasp that didn't even startle the men.

Her hand raised unconsciously and her fingers caressed her throat. She followed Wesley's hand as it slid down Gunn's back to join his other hand in kneading that nice ass. Her own fingers slid down the front of her dress grazing an erect nipple through the fabric of her gown. A bolt of fire shot from her breast to that place between her legs as Gunn paused their kissing to lick Wesley's mouth and suck on his lower lip.

It was so erotic. It was so perfect, except for the fact that she rather be between them somehow and get a little of that attention herself. Perfect except for the guy with the tragedy mask coming at them with a knife. "Look OUT!

Wes and Gunn broke off their kiss both turning to look at Fred. Gunn caught sight of the knife heading for Wesley's back and pushed him to the side. The off-balanced attacker continued his lunge and caught Gunn on the arm with a slight wound. Wesley continued moving toward Fred and knocked Comedy over before he could stab Fred.

"Fred, get between us."

"Oh please! I mean, yes! Gunn you're hurt!" She grabbed a large candelabra and knocked Tragedy from behind and started pounding him into the floor.

"It's not deep. Wes!" grabbing Tragedy's lost sword he tossed it to Wesley who was actively dodging Comedy. Wesley snatched the rapier out of the air and proceeded to swash and buckle like a professional. The pair moved forward through the arch.

"Fred, I think you got him." Gunn pulled Fred upright over the very down Tragedy. She planted the candelabra on the floor.

"You're arm, there's blood."

"There usually is. I been cut worse than this. I just need to wrap it -"

"Of course." Fred grabbed the back of Tragedy's shirt and ripped off a strip of cloth. As she bandaged his hand, he thought he should say something.

"Ah, Fred. I don't exactly know what's going on with me and Wes. I mean, I was reaching for you and came up with him. And…and I'm really confused."

She tied off the cloth, "That's OK, I kinda liked the view of the two of you." It's very hard to tell if a black man is blushing. "Here, let me kiss it and make it better." She started lifting his hand to her face and suddenly dropped it. With both hands, she reached up on tiptoe and grabbed his head. As her tongue slid into his mouth, he thought, "Damn, blindsided twice in one night. I should have more nights like this."

Wesley caught sight of them as he backed Comedy back into the corridor. Knocking the rapier from Comedy's hand, Wes plunged his own sword into Comedy's chest. "Who's laughing, now?" Comedy giggled. "Well, *you*, but I still win." He pulled back his sword raising it up while planting his other hand on his hip.

Gunn raised a questioning eyebrow. Fred rushed over to him, "Just like Errol Flynn." Wes lost some of his debonair and his balance as Fred wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a hero's kiss.

When Fred let him up for air, Wesley looked between the two of them in complete indecision and confusion. "I'm either the luckiest bastard on the face of the earth or the stupidest. Either way, I'm certainly the most confused."

"Nope, got you beat on that one, English. Heads up!" The fallen Comedy began to shake and soon two Comedies were standing in front of them. Tragedy did a repeat performance and they were running from four enemies.

Cordelia and Angel escaped their psychic hot spot and Wes tripped into another hot spot when a Comedy slammed him into a wall. When they were alone for a moment, Wes was able to tell them that this was the work of wizard and he sent Angel to the stage to destroy the Count's power center. The four of them meanwhile held back the ever multiplying Comedies and Tragedies.


Back at the Hyperion, Cordelia and Angel conducted some sort of business with Lorne and the Groosalug. The other three spread themselves around the lobby and looked at each other without trying to look at each other. They sat in silence for a few minutes when the other four had left.

There are so many possibilities. Would they let me take the middle? Fred writhing beneath me. Gunn behind me, pounding over and over. Oh, what a fool I am. Gunn's never even looked at me before tonight. You have to seize these things while the iron is hot. If you give it any time to cool down… But I want them, both of them so bad.

You know, I've been noticing that look Wes has been given me for months. It was giving me ideas. Lot's of ideas. I can still feel his back pressed up against mine when we were tied up in Pylea. Oh, and Cordy was wrong; that boy knows how to kiss. But so does Fred. Wanna kiss them both. Maybe I could date Wes on Tuesdays and Fred on Thursdays? Oh, naked Fred, nice image. I'm not sure 100% sure what I'd do with a naked Wesley, but some ideas are coming to mind. Who am I kidding! We're going to end up avoiding each other for months.

This is all going to fade away if someone doesn't do something. I want the both. How could I ever decide? I really want to watch them with each other. Oh yeah, like Mr. Prim-and-Proper or Mr. Tough-Guy would ever go for that. It's chilly in here. Wouldn't it be nice to be squeezed between to hot bodies with their hands, all four hands touching, touching everything. Somebody should do something!

Fred stood up and walked over to Wesley who was behind the reception desk with his face resting in his hands. She pulled him from behind the counter and walked toward Gunn who was looking a little panicky on the round poof in the center of the lobby.

"OK, I know we've all expressed confusion tonight," started Fred.

"You didn't look confused when you were kissing Errol Flynn"

"Nor did she look confused when she was kissing you while I battled the enemy"

"I was confused when the two of you were having finger sex in my lap and not inviting me to play."

"Oh," came back in stereo.

"The way I see it, there can be several outcomes. Typically, we would all go back to our respective homes, come into work tomorrow and then spend a considerable amount of time avoiding each other and being awkward around each other until some unspecified amount of time had passed allowing us to put this evening behind us. Of the possible negative side effects is the unresolved sexual tension causing us all to be on edge and the constant wondering about what would have happened. I can see that this added tension could have a negative impact our job performance."

"Well that's a fairly accurate assessment. Do you have a possible solution?"

"Yeah Fred, you got a way out of this situation than give."

"I do, but it would require that that two of you allow me to be the boss for the evening and do exactly what I say."

The two men glanced between them and then looked at Fred who was biting her lip and bouncing in anticipation. "I'm game if you're game, English."

"By all means. What would you like us to do Fred?"

"We're all getting out of this fancy stuff into our street clothes. Gunn's going to drive us to Wesley's apartment."

"And when we get to Wes' place?" He stood up and moved opposite Wes with her between them. She ran appreciative hands down the white shirts on either side of her.

"Well, the first thing I'd like to see is the two of you kiss again. I didn't get a very good look before and I want to get up real close next time. After that, I thought we could improvise."

"How close?" Wesley asked as he gently turned Fred so that she was facing him and leaning against Gunn.

"As close as you'll let me."

"How's about this, Fred?" Gunn reached around her placing his hands on Wesley's hips pulling him into a kiss. Wesley's caressed her neck as both men grinded against her. They broke their kiss and looked down at her.

"Oh, good, that was real good. But, I think this will have to be repeated from several different angles."


"Anything you say."

She reluctantly slid from between them and started up the stairs. Turning, "A guys, no underwear, it'll only slow us down."



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