Title: Backstage at the Ballet
Improv: Improv #42 "You're Doing It All Wrong!" (This improv is about
fixing a plot gone wrong.)
Spoiler: Up to "Waiting in the Wings"
Disclaimer: As implausible as my conclusion to the original plot may
may, Joss himself penned the line about "Who's laughing now?" In the
end, he and several corporations own it all. I own nothing worth
Author's Notes: 020520 - Thanks to MeriBeth for conversing about
W/G/F. I promise; her plot will be better. Special thanks to
http://www.studiesinwords.de/ for the shooting script. Post to list
archives. Everyone else just let me know. In Martha's
words, "Feedback. It's a good thing." - Justhuman111@hotmail.com
It must have been the night in Caritas. Dodging bullets, hiding
under tables, holding her shaking body close to mine. Oh, that did
feel good. Of course, quaking in terror was not the way one wanted a
girl to approach you. But if I could be of any service… And the
fact that she had been mooning over Angel at the time meant nothing.
After all, once she found out about the curse, she stopped paying
attention to Angel and…and didn't pay any attention to me
whatsoever. The fact that I tried to kill her while possessed by a
demon also was probably not helping my case.
But she forgave me. That had to count for something, didn't it? Oh,
it just doesn't matter; I can't stop thinking about her. It wasn't
the first time I've had these obsessive fantasies, but this time I'm
actually going to do something about it. Besides, Cordelia confirmed
that the iron was hot. Fred is interested.
OK, this was it the perfect opportunity. No demons, just a social
night out among co-workers. They were all dressed up. The ballet, a
perfectly civilized endeavor. Beautiful music, beautiful dancing,
it's perfect. She is a vision - not like Cordelia's visions - the
kind of visions where everyone sighs, contentedly.
Right so lift the hand. Lift the hand. Yes, there it goes. Slowly
reach over and there's another hand. Yes, that's another hand in the
air. It's sliding against mine. Did she, is she interested in …
caressing my fingers too? Except, that hand, the one my thumb is
stroking on the palm, it's really much too big to be Fred's isn't
it. Quick glance. Oh see, I am a detective. Much to big to be
Fred's hand, much too black as well. Gunn's hand. What's Gunn's
hand doing in Fred's lap? What's Gunn's hand doing laying feather
light touches on my fingertips. Why am I not pulling my fingers
away. Why am I getting hard? Oh, that probably has to do with the
last set of obsessive fantasies that I didn't act on.
This is sooo tight. Why the hell did I ever think the ballet was
going to be boring? God, the grace! Only one thing could make this
more perfect. Ohhh, sweet! Man, she was reaching for me too. Hmm,
long fingers. Rougher than I thought. That thumb, just the right
pressure on my palm. Mmm, mmm, I could just imagine that gliding
across the head of my cock. Oh yeah. Break in the dance, quick
glance down…at *both* of Fred's hands in her lap and mine all wrapped
up in Wesley's. Boy's good with his fingers. Yep, knows how to use
his thumb. Wow, got this image of that hand jacking me off. Why,
why is it not going away? Why am I not pulling back my hand?
This is sooo, nice. Much nicer now that Cordy isn't snoring in my
ear. All dressed up and squeezed between to hot guys in these seats
that are just a little bit too small. I bet that most people
complain about that. But, I'm not complaining, not me. Cordy said
that he was interested. I wonder which one. It's not like I can
actually make up my mind. I mean Wesley is so smart and gentle and
sweet. Gunn, well he's sweet in his own way and he loves tacos and
he makes me laugh. Oh, look, oh my, they're both moving their hands
towards me. And gee, their holding each other's hands, right over my
My, they seem to be enjoying that quite a bit. This is a better show
than the ballet. It would have been more polite of them to ask me to
sit on the end. But, I'm not complaining. I've heard about guys
holding hands with each other in West Hollywood, but I never saw
anything like this. Oh my, it's warm in here isn't it? Maybe I
shouldn't look. Of course, it is going on in my lap, but it would
probably be rude to say anything.
Think, that's it, I'll think. I'm good at thinking. Family,
friends, co-workers. Wesley, Gunn…naked…at the same time. Oh my!
Cordelia, good friend who would happily distract me from thoughts of
Hands fly back to their respective owners.
"And Cordy! They've been gone way too long."
Thankful to be out of the awkwardness, Wesley agreed, " You're right.
As they shuffled out, Gunn cast a disappointed look at the stage and
whined, "But…we're gonna miss the end…"
Taking the unconscious guard at the backstage door as a hint, the
trio wandered into the labyrinth of the time trap. Fred walked
between Wes and Gunn as they cautiously made their way down the
corridor. "This is very not right," commented Gunn.
A low moan penetrated the silence as a shadow moved across them.
Fred's eyes grew wider, "Do you hear -" A woman's moan came louder.
Gunn moved closer to Fred intending to put a comforting arm around
her. Not noticing Gunn's movement, Wesley did the same as he
said, "Someone's in pain." More moaning was heard with a breathy
Fred increased her pace moving away from the two men who found their
comforting arms now wrapped around each other's waists. "Either
that, or someone's in fun."
Gunn thought, "His eyes are so blue. Why am I staring into his
eyes?! There's supposed to be a skinny white girl on my arm right
now, not a skinny, tall, good looking, Wesley. Man, look at that
shocked look on his face, that mouth just hanging open a little, like
he's waiting to be kissed, just begging someone to kiss him. Oh, oh,
Wesley thought, "What the hell! Between the hand holding and this,
he's going to kick my ass if we get out of this alive." Reaching
with his free hand, Wes wrapped his long fingers around the back of
Gunn's neck and pulled him into a kiss. His other hand slid down
from Gunn's waist and explored the ass he had been admiring from afar
for so long.
Four steps away, Fred suddenly realized that the guys weren't right
beside her and she turned around to see Wesley kissing Gunn. Gunn
still had one hand around Wes' waist and the other one was gesturing
at no one in particular. Finally, that hand just gave up and
threaded its way into Wesley's hair. Fred's breath came in a little
gasp that didn't even startle the men.
Her hand raised unconsciously and her fingers caressed her throat.
She followed Wesley's hand as it slid down Gunn's back to join his
other hand in kneading that nice ass. Her own fingers slid down the
front of her dress grazing an erect nipple through the fabric of her
gown. A bolt of fire shot from her breast to that place between her
legs as Gunn paused their kissing to lick Wesley's mouth and suck on
his lower lip.
It was so erotic. It was so perfect, except for the fact that she
rather be between them somehow and get a little of that attention
herself. Perfect except for the guy with the tragedy mask coming at
them with a knife. "Look OUT!
Wes and Gunn broke off their kiss both turning to look at Fred. Gunn
caught sight of the knife heading for Wesley's back and pushed him to
the side. The off-balanced attacker continued his lunge and caught
Gunn on the arm with a slight wound. Wesley continued moving toward
Fred and knocked Comedy over before he could stab Fred.
"Fred, get between us."
"Oh please! I mean, yes! Gunn you're hurt!" She grabbed a large
candelabra and knocked Tragedy from behind and started pounding him
into the floor.
"It's not deep. Wes!" grabbing Tragedy's lost sword he tossed it to
Wesley who was actively dodging Comedy. Wesley snatched the rapier
out of the air and proceeded to swash and buckle like a
professional. The pair moved forward through the arch.
"Fred, I think you got him." Gunn pulled Fred upright over the very
down Tragedy. She planted the candelabra on the floor.
"You're arm, there's blood."
"There usually is. I been cut worse than this. I just need to wrap
"Of course." Fred grabbed the back of Tragedy's shirt and ripped off
a strip of cloth. As she bandaged his hand, he thought he should say
"Ah, Fred. I don't exactly know what's going on with me and Wes. I
mean, I was reaching for you and came up with him. And…and I'm
She tied off the cloth, "That's OK, I kinda liked the view of the two
of you." It's very hard to tell if a black man is blushing. "Here,
let me kiss it and make it better." She started lifting his hand to
her face and suddenly dropped it. With both hands, she reached up on
tiptoe and grabbed his head. As her tongue slid into his mouth, he
thought, "Damn, blindsided twice in one night. I should have more
nights like this."
Wesley caught sight of them as he backed Comedy back into the
corridor. Knocking the rapier from Comedy's hand, Wes plunged his
own sword into Comedy's chest. "Who's laughing, now?" Comedy
giggled. "Well, *you*, but I still win." He pulled back his sword
raising it up while planting his other hand on his hip.
Gunn raised a questioning eyebrow. Fred rushed over to him, "Just
like Errol Flynn." Wes lost some of his debonair and his balance as
Fred wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a hero's
When Fred let him up for air, Wesley looked between the two of them
in complete indecision and confusion. "I'm either the luckiest
bastard on the face of the earth or the stupidest. Either way, I'm
certainly the most confused."
"Nope, got you beat on that one, English. Heads up!" The fallen
Comedy began to shake and soon two Comedies were standing in front of
them. Tragedy did a repeat performance and they were running from
Cordelia and Angel escaped their psychic hot spot and Wes tripped
into another hot spot when a Comedy slammed him into a wall. When
they were alone for a moment, Wes was able to tell them that this was
the work of wizard and he sent Angel to the stage to destroy the
Count's power center. The four of them meanwhile held back the ever
multiplying Comedies and Tragedies.
Back at the Hyperion, Cordelia and Angel conducted some sort of
business with Lorne and the Groosalug. The other three spread
themselves around the lobby and looked at each other without trying
to look at each other. They sat in silence for a few minutes when
the other four had left.
There are so many possibilities. Would they let me take the middle?
Fred writhing beneath me. Gunn behind me, pounding over and over.
Oh, what a fool I am. Gunn's never even looked at me before
tonight. You have to seize these things while the iron is hot. If
you give it any time to cool down… But I want them, both of them so
You know, I've been noticing that look Wes has been given me for
months. It was giving me ideas. Lot's of ideas. I can still feel
his back pressed up against mine when we were tied up in Pylea. Oh,
and Cordy was wrong; that boy knows how to kiss. But so does Fred.
Wanna kiss them both. Maybe I could date Wes on Tuesdays and Fred on
Thursdays? Oh, naked Fred, nice image. I'm not sure 100% sure what
I'd do with a naked Wesley, but some ideas are coming to mind. Who
am I kidding! We're going to end up avoiding each other for months.
This is all going to fade away if someone doesn't do something. I
want the both. How could I ever decide? I really want to watch them
with each other. Oh yeah, like Mr. Prim-and-Proper or Mr. Tough-Guy
would ever go for that. It's chilly in here. Wouldn't it be nice to
be squeezed between to hot bodies with their hands, all four hands
touching, touching everything. Somebody should do something!
Fred stood up and walked over to Wesley who was behind the reception
desk with his face resting in his hands. She pulled him from behind
the counter and walked toward Gunn who was looking a little panicky
on the round poof in the center of the lobby.
"OK, I know we've all expressed confusion tonight," started Fred.
"You didn't look confused when you were kissing Errol Flynn"
"Nor did she look confused when she was kissing you while I battled
"I was confused when the two of you were having finger sex in my lap
and not inviting me to play."
"Oh," came back in stereo.
"The way I see it, there can be several outcomes. Typically, we
would all go back to our respective homes, come into work tomorrow
and then spend a considerable amount of time avoiding each other and
being awkward around each other until some unspecified amount of time
had passed allowing us to put this evening behind us. Of the
possible negative side effects is the unresolved sexual tension
causing us all to be on edge and the constant wondering about what
would have happened. I can see that this added tension could have a
negative impact our job performance."
"Well that's a fairly accurate assessment. Do you have a possible
"Yeah Fred, you got a way out of this situation than give."
"I do, but it would require that that two of you allow me to be the
boss for the evening and do exactly what I say."
The two men glanced between them and then looked at Fred who was
biting her lip and bouncing in anticipation. "I'm game if you're
"By all means. What would you like us to do Fred?"
"We're all getting out of this fancy stuff into our street clothes.
Gunn's going to drive us to Wesley's apartment."
"And when we get to Wes' place?" He stood up and moved opposite Wes
with her between them. She ran appreciative hands down the white
shirts on either side of her.
"Well, the first thing I'd like to see is the two of you kiss again.
I didn't get a very good look before and I want to get up real close
next time. After that, I thought we could improvise."
"How close?" Wesley asked as he gently turned Fred so that she was
facing him and leaning against Gunn.
"As close as you'll let me."
"How's about this, Fred?" Gunn reached around her placing his hands
on Wesley's hips pulling him into a kiss. Wesley's caressed her neck
as both men grinded against her. They broke their kiss and looked
down at her.
"Oh, good, that was real good. But, I think this will have to be
repeated from several different angles."
"Anything you say."
She reluctantly slid from between them and started up the stairs.
Turning, "A guys, no underwear, it'll only slow us down."